Monday, April 2, 2018

I'm Back

Just re-read my previous posts and I haven't made a lot of progress with alleviating anxiety or depression - the battle continues. A couple things I did note about my previous posts is that...

  • they are too long
  • I'm great at making lists but not following them
  • I have good ideas but can't seem to put them into action
Something else I've come to learn about myself is I lack motivation and don't feel passionate about much of anything. 
Looking back over four years of retirement I have tried many activities - some have stuck and some haven't. So I've been letting go of the ones that don't add anything to my life and focussing on the ones that do. For example...
  • Crochet and spool-knitting: during the depths of his massive depression my Dad creating a huge room-filling rug through spool-knitting. People in the small village he lived in would drop off leftover balls of wool. It kept his hands busy which is important when you live in anxiety or fear. I tried it for the first year of retirement, crocheting as well, but neither really interested me. 
  • Sewing: I thought that I would try sewing instead. In high school I sewed most of my clothes and I was good at it. I have a fairly new sewing machine. I bought a pattern and material and still they sit in a bag somewhere. I'm good at the planning, terrible at the follow through.
  • DIY projects - painting, wall papering, fixing etc. I did a lot when I first retired but have tapered off. I would still like to get some improvements done around the house but prefer, for now, to put my money into travel.
  • Travel :) I really really love to travel and see new things, new places etc. My experiences have been good except for last year's trip. My travel partner had to downsize her trip which meant I would be doing the long distance hike alone. That was fine but I had a freak accident damaging several toes on my right foot which became infected and I couldn't continue. I was somewhere in the Scottish Highlands with no help at hand and had an anxiety attack. Managed to find a bus to take me to Glasgow airport and flew home. I've been down on myself because I think (sometimes) that I should have toughed it out. Logically I know I couldn't but since when is anxiety logical? The good news is my brother and I are going to Scotland in September this year which I am looking forward to. I also did a trip to Vancouver Island last year and did a few hikes and visited two friends. Since I purchased a car last September my savings have decreased so I am working on building up my accounts again so I can continue to take two trips a year instead of one. Time will tell.
  • Yoga and meditation: still enjoying yoga and I follow up my daily 1/2 hour with a short meditation. I may increase the meditation time from 10 minutes to 20 minutes. I use the Yoga Studio App and find it helpful.
  • Soapstone carving - I created several pieces over fall and winter though I find I have to push myself to get going on this very enjoyable hobby.
  • Genealogy - again something I really enjoy but hard to get started.
  • Volleyball - I am playing 6 hours a week (2 hours 3x weekly) I really enjoy this sport and have a lead on a beach volleyball court close to where I live and the people are the same folks I play with now. Age 55+; some are also thinking about lawn bowling which I will try if it gets going. I usually go out with some of the other v-ball players for a pint once a week - at first this was stressful but it is getting easier.
  • Cycling - I am eager to get my bicycle out of the basement for a new season of long rides on the bike trails. Cycling is tied with hiking/long distance walking for the joy it brings me. Yes, cycling brings me joy. The freedom, the speed, the wind that keeps me cool - just can't get enough of it!
  • Hiking/long distance walking: I enjoy being out in nature every day. I've been at my favourite spot everyday for the past couple of weeks waiting for the return of the osprey couple who have taken up permanent occupation of the light standard in centre field of a nearby baseball diamond. They arrived yesterday and I was so pleased. (I no longer use the indoor walking track as I prefer to walk outside.) And it's been proven walking in nature helps with depression.
  • Nature and Photography - I love taking photos - I made a calendar last year as a Christmas gift to family members of photos I took in the Connemara region in Ireland. One brother said they were the best photos of that area that he'd ever seen and I should make a calendar. I took his advice and with the help of Apple I created a wonderful keepsake. I also plan to make a picture book, also with Apple help, of the wildflowers, birds and animals I see where I hike. I have hundreds of photos to choose from and it is an enjoyable activity.



To summarize the activities that I still enjoy and pursue are: travel, hiking/long distance walking, photography, nature, cycling, yoga and meditation. Ones that I will try to continue: carving and genealogy. Ones I've given up on - crochet, spool knitting and sewing though I would at least like to make the top that I purchased material for. 


My apologies for disappearing from my blog - hopefully I will continue to write posts as it is good therapy.  I'll leave you with this positive message:

"Develop interest in life as you see it; in things, people, music, literature - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.
Henry Miller (American author)

No comments:

Post a Comment